If we could only see us as God sees us

Yesterday was G O R G E O U S!  We had swimming lessons, went to the Michael's and got some stuff and then came home and hung out at home all afternoon! 

When we were at Michael's though, I happened across two older women in the jewelry making isle.  They were looking for a few things and I asked how long they'd been making jewelry.  The one looked at me and smiled, but the other, grabbing a black and yellow book out of her cart, said, "We just started!  We rented this from the library and are going to learn something new!"  It was Jewelry Making for Dummies!  (Awesome right?)  As I stood there looking for what I needed, the book lady looked over at my kids and said, "Oh!  Look at your eyes!  You all have such pretty blue eyes!"  Gidget said "Thanks."  Tatum, who knows we don't talk to strangers, said, "Thanks! I'm Tatum. I'm 3!" (I guess if you introduce yourself, they're not strangers anymore, right?)  Anyway, she looked at them for a couple minutes and played with Baby D for a minute then looked at me and said, "They are so well behaved!  You are so blessed!" to which I responded, "Yes, I am blessed.  They are very good."

Fast forward to today:

Today was stormy.  We went to swimming lessons hoping to burn off some energy in the pool but only got to sit and listen to a Safety Lesson.  Those are good, don't get me wrong, but let me tell ya... when you have 3 kids who woke up this morning going stir crazy, it almost makes it too much to handle!  Anyway, enter a Pinterest find that I came across a couple weeks ago--Teddy Bears out of socks.  We really had a great time!  We found socks on the clearance rack and bought some $.97 Puffy Paint from WalMart and got to work with things we already had at home!  They turned out so cute and I realized that this was a Kronos moment.

I read about these a while back and thought to myself.... Kronos time???? What the heck is that?

It's God's time.  It's the time that He runs on and when you hit a Kronos moment, it's almost as if they stand still just for a second and you either notice it, or you don't.  Today I had a glimpse of my children through God's time.

My children are crazy.  They drive me nuts (more often than not) and are always getting into something or pestering each other.  But these are the eye openers I had about my kids today:

Gidget: 
1. When she starts something, it better get finished.  I didn't want to drag the kids through the rain to swimming lessons today, and when I asked if they wanted to just skip today since it was raining, she looked at me and said, "NO!  We have to go learn about safety Mom!"  LOL!  She was so determined to be there and soak in every second. 

2. Later when I mentioned doing the bears.... she was helpful and sweet to her younger brother who couldn't get his stuffing inside the legs.  She took over offered to help Tatum so that he could have a teddy bear too.  She became a miniature mom and I saw, reflected through her, the things that I do and say.

3. She has a definite talent for anything crafty!  (That could be dangerous in this household!) 

Tatum: 
1. He is so easy going about most things, but has to have one-on-one attention.  He THRIVES with one-on-one attention.  I never noticed it before, but when he feels like he's not being paid attention to, he will literally try to be in the exact same space as you so that you will notice him.  While doing our teddy bears, I started out with Gidget's so that she could start stuffing while I sewed Tatums bear.  The whole time I was stitching hers, he's asking me, "Mom, why is this taking so long?  Will you do mine now?  Can I help you stitch? (while trying to grab my hand)"  Things that made me realize that he really is a middle child and I've let him almost slip through the cracks.  (Oldest is more capable so I do things for her first and the baby needs attention because, well, he's a baby.)  Seriously need to rectify this situation.

2. He has energy that most people would only dream about having!  I love (most days) that he is so active.  It adds so much spunk and fun into our family!  I try to remember when I'm having a particularly hard day (such as today) that God sent him to our family because we could handle him.  Some other family might have been too harsh with him, put him on meds (even at his young age) or worse... I hate to think of any other things.

He is my son.  I love him.  I always will.

3. He gives the best snuggles and butterfly kisses (batting your eyelashes on someone's cheek)!  He always seems to know just when I need a hug or if I'm sitting on the couch, he'll come and snuggle right next to me then butterfly kiss my arm...... until I chuckle and rub it because it tickles.  I also love that he tells me, "I love you to the moon and back, mom!"  It's our special moment.

Diesel:

1. Cutting teeth is hard work, especially when it's your first two at the same time!  Today his little gums were so sore and my hubby was trying to feed him and anytime something went across his gums, he'd whimper.  I peeked around from the corner of the kitchen and he glimpsed me just long enough to yell out, "Mama!"  Talk about a heart-breaker!

2. He's determined when he wants to be, but needs to be pushed sometimes.  He army crawled for the first time today!!!  FIRST TIME!!! and he's 9 months old!  It was so exciting to see that I actually made him do it a few more times before I grabbed my camera because I thought it may have been a fluke (but it so wasn't!)  When I tried to get him to do it again this afternoon, he tried once and then looked up at me and fake-cried so that I would just pick him up and give him the toy!  LOL.  He totally knows how to work me! 

3. Sometimes when you don't feel good, you just need your Mom.  Sometimes it's those arms that wrap around you that help you know you're safe and where God wants you to be.  He had a lot of those moments today and I feel very blessed to have him as my son.

Overall Message for the day:  Count your Many Blessings!

My blessings came to me in a split second decision to buy some random socks off a clearance rack and make teddy bears with my kids.  With that one decision I was able to notice all of these blessings about each individual child I've helped bring into this world.

They really are miracles, aren't they?

PS. Here's a picture of our bears.... not too bad for a first try, huh?

Sometimes I ramble....

You know... sometimes I forget things.  I'm sure we all do.  But the things I forget aren't things like doctors appointments, meetings, play dates or anything like that.  It's things like remembering that my kids are just kids... like sometimes kids get scared because of a bad dream they had a week ago still... like sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways... and like sometimes when it rains... it really rains.  I'm talking like downpour... can't see the tree 3 feet away rains.

There's a couple things I want to touch on and I'll try to be brief, but bear with me.

First: My little Gidget

She is so sweet, smart, helpful and quick that sometimes I forget she's only 5.  Like when I told her tonight to go get her jammies on because it was time for bed and she stood in the hallway because she was scared.  (Lately there have been a few spiders in her room due to base boards that don't meet up in the corner.)  She's standing there telling me, "I'm just really scared" and my response to this was, "I don't care.  Go get your jammies on!  There's nothing to be scared of, you play in there all the time!"  (Mother of the year award, right?  Yeah, I know.....)

When she came out with her jammies in tow and went to the bathroom I was short with her too.  Why????  Because I was letting myself get frustrated that we were half an hour late for bed time and they were already grumpy and had been crazy all day due to the late night shenanigans of the 4th of July and I forgot she was a child.  I forgot. 

We read scriptures and of course it's a chapter that is quoting Isaiah so I have no idea what it's about since we only read like 5 verses a night and it's hard to remember what was going on two nights ago after such a crazy day.  Needless to say, I didn't get much out of them.  Then we did prayer as a family and I had the kids say their own prayers, and I put the boys in bed.

WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT?????? I'm so frustrated with myself that I let it get to me so quickly and so stupidly.

As she laid down in bed, I tucked her in and went out, said "Good night" and turned on the music.  A moment later, I heard whimpering.  I went in and said, and I quote, "Why are you crying?" (not the nicest way ever either.... not upset but a little annoyed.)  She then told me with tears in her eyes, "I just am scared.  I need my glow bear Mom."  Glow Bear is a bear that literally glows.  It's neon green and has like 3 lights in it and has been malfunctioning slightly for the last couple weeks... sad day for reals.  Anyway, I got him and gave him to her then snuggled her back into her blankets.  All of a sudden I remembered (like, ouch remembered) that she was just a child.  A BLESSING that God had given me to take care of and to teach and to love on.  She is NOT a burden.  She's not something that I can rush through... in fact, (award #2) she told me at one point that she was grumpy because she didn't get much attention and snuggle time to which I replied.... "Don't even use that as an excuse.  You're choosing to be grumpy tonight."  This I said to my 5 year old..... geez. 

I looked at her little 5-year-old eyes with tears in them as she looked at me and told me she was scared and I told her how she can pray for safety.  She did and I stayed with her for a few minutes.  We talked about how when we pray Jesus can come down and sit with her until she goes to sleep so that she will be safe.  (Granted, it might not be just like that, but I didn't want to scare her with the idea of angels in her room.... she is only 5 after all.)  We talked about how Mommy doesn't like having to give her consequences (and yes, she knows what that means) and how consequences aren't fun for anybody, even Mommy.  She told me about how she wanted to dream about good dreams tonight because she had nightmares sometimes.  I asked her what she wanted to dream about and she told me "PRINCESSES!"  Then we made up a dream that she could have to give her something to dream about as she fell asleep.  (She turned into a beautiful mermaid and got to swim in the ocean with Ariel.... she loved it!)  As I walked out, she looked at me and said, "Mom, I love you".... talk about a reality check.

Second: Unexpected Circumstances

My brother this morning, who is working as an apprentice to an electrician, was trying to join two conduits for some electrical lines on the job.  While he was turning the screw with his flat head screwdriver, he must have been turning it with a lot of pressure because it slipped off.  Because he was above the screwdriver and was turning it from the bottom side, it flew right into his eye.  The flat-head part (not the handle) went up under his eyelid, scratched part of the cornea and some of the skin on the eyeball itself and severed (not sure how badly yet) the muscle that makes your eye move upward.  The doctors said that in order for that muscle to have been damaged, the screwdriver had to have gone at least 1.25 to 1.5 inches into his eye socket.  Tomorrow we'll know more, but as of right now, there was too much swelling and blood in the eye to know the full extent of the damage.

He could have lost an eye.

He could have paralyzed part of his body

He could be dead.

This is my big brother who is 14 years older than me.  He is the one who would take me out for ice cream as a girl-magnet.  This is the man who at 14 years old, when I was born, walked into the recovery room where my mom and I were, walked right past everyone, picked me up and held me the whole time.  The guy who bought me a laundry basket full of goofy college supplies for Christmas that I'd need when I went to college the next fall (and a teddy bear to hug if I ever missed him.... which I used often by the way!).  The big brother I'd miss dearly if that had happened this morning.  I can't hardly think about it honestly without tearing up.  My brother could have been gone tonight... and it makes you think, you know?

How often do we take things for granted?  Gidget is only 5.  She helps with so much and does so much and loves to learn and is so stinkin' smart, but she's only 5.  She is a baby still and I let myself get so frustrated with her over getting her jammies on!  What the heck!?!

My brother could have been gone in a split second if that screwdriver had gone much farther a little quicker.  They've been having some hard times lately and this throws another kink into their lives, but for real, at least he has a life still!  He's still able to work and help support his family. 

Sometimes God gives us learning moments and we don't always notice them, but today I noticed.  I noticed when she looked at me trying to tell if she could really trust me or if I truly "didn't care".  I noticed when my brother's life was passed over for a split second and he was blessed to see another day.  I noticed and I'm so grateful I did because I see the importance of words.  I see the importance of a bigger picture.  I see it and I notice it and I am so grateful for it.  God has a hand in so many things that we never think about.  We are the ones responsible in this life for learning to notice them.  Today I learned something and I can't even really explain to you what it was, but I did learn it.  Sometimes it's the still, small voice in the moment of frustration or fear that is the only thing that will calm you and today... I noticed.

God is so good.

A New Beginning

Hi Friends.  I'm so sorry it's been WELL OVER A YEAR since my last post.  I have no reasons.... only excuses... but here they are:

1. I moved 1500 miles while being 4 months pregnant.
2. Once moved, we didn't have a lot of internet access due to the fact we moved in with my folks.
3. After finding an apartment, we took a year off of internet (using the one at my parent's house only occasionally) so as to help us focus on our family a little better.
4. I had a baby in October.
5. I got severe Postpartum depression.... if you've ever had it, you know what I'm talking about.
6. The new year came and I had no desire to tell anybody anything.
7. I decided to be happy again in like May.

NOW..... it's JULY!!!!  Happy July to all my readers/friends/acquaintances/anyone who glances at this blog!  I'm so excited to be back!  Here's what has me excited right now.

First and foremost: today's my birthday!  I am 27 years old today!  WoOt wOoT for me!

Secondly, I moved from here:

                                To Here:

 

Yep, moved from a tiny city surrounded by mountains, to a state of corn fields.... back to my roots and my family that I missed so much!  Plus, there's LOADS of sunshine here all the time!

 

Thirdly, having taken a 1-year sabbatical from all things internet/television related, I've realized that there are some things I will never miss: the crap that was on TV that I used to get sucked into so bad; the hours of time I used to spend on the internet doing whatever; the bad attitudes my kids were starting to have, just to name a few.  I do NOT miss having to separate my kids from each other because they are fighting over things (not that they don't do it still, but it's different.... it's more yelling and not so much physical).  Also, I don't miss having to change the channel because an inappropriate commercial has come on and I have to guard my kids.... now I pick what they watch and when (mostly movies but we also watch Iowa Public Television).  

Fourth, I'd have to say that I'm super excited about the new Fiscal year for Mary Kay Cosmetics.  I am taking off this year with the desire to be in Director Qualifications by March.  That means that I will be partying with women for a purpose!  I love Mary Kay.  It literally saved my life when I signed up and I've never thought about quitting EVER!  It's made me a better woman and the women I've met through it have all influenced my life in so many ways.  The thing I love most about Mary Kay is that even if I don't sell anything, I made someone feel better about themselves for an hour and sometimes that hour can translate into something huge!  You know the saying, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"?  It's totally true!  Who would have thought, right?  When a woman feels better about herself, she treats people differently, she treats her kids differently, and she loves those around her more!  It's an awesome transformation to see, let me tell ya!  (BTW, if you'd be interested in a FREE, no-strings-attached facial from me, e-mail me!  I'd love to pamper you, even from afar!)

The fifth and last thing I'm excited about right now is this:

I have 3 BEAUTIFUL children!  I've been so blessed to have them in my life and I've decided to make every day count with them.

My oldest, *Gidget, is 5 and going to be going to Kindergarten this year!  She's so excited and can't wait to learn what is out there.... she's amazing!  

My second, *Tatum, is almost 4 and into everything and crazy and hyper and tiring and he wears me out emotionally sometimes, but I wouldn't change him for anything.  He's got such a sweet heart and is so loving to those around him.  He also likes to tease everyone and pester to no end.  Such is a boy though, right?

My youngest, and newest addition, *Diesel, is so cute!  I can't believe that he's ours.  He refuses to crawl even though he's 8 months old, but he gets where he wants to go by rolling around the floor.  I LOVE his chunky rolls.... seriously cannot get enough of them.  And his cheeks.  They kind of remind me of chipmunk cheeks.  LOL!

*These represent names that have been changed to protect my kiddos!*

Anyway, as in true Lacey fashion, here's my quote of the day to help you see the positive:

I have been LOST!

Lost to a world of moving where there is no connection to the outside world hardly at all!  Seriously, I've missed writing on here.

Tonight I feel:

• stressed
• depressed
• frustrated
• tired
• HUGE (seeing as how I'm 31 weeks preggo, this is totally justified)  =o)
• and above all worried.

There are so many things that have gone on and are going on that I feel as if I'm slowly losing my grip on reality... that being said, I read through some of my old posts and realized that I'm falling into some old habits that I've been trying so hard to end.

SO!  Here's how I'm going to end the night feeling:

• Hopeful
• Patient
• Relieved
• and yes, HUGE!  LOL!

Emmanuel Teney said, "As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit."

I also recall reading a passage in an article from our church magazine, The Ensign, entitled "Help Thou Mine Unbelief".  In this article, Elder L. Whitney Clayton says,

"No matter who we are or where we live, there is much about our daily lives that is routine and repetitive. As we go about this dailiness, we must be deliberate about doing the things that matter most. These must-do things include making room first for the minimum daily requirements of faithful behavior: true obedience, humble prayer, serious scripture study, and selfless service to others. No other daily vitamins strengthen the muscles of our faith as fast as these actions."

I also like this last quote for the night:

"Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it."  ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

No matter how bad you're feeling tonight (and I promise, you're not alone) remember that tomorrow is a new day.  Start over and proceed with caution as you try to put what's really important into your day.  Have faith, hope and love for those around you (including yourself) and remember that I'm here, even though I've been gone for a while.... okay, I've been gone for a long time, I know.  5 months is a long time.

On to better things we go, right friends?

What do you accept?

"The only tyrant I accept in this world is the 'still small voice' within me."

~Mahatma Gandhi

What if all we ever heard was greatness?  What if every time someone (or ourselves) said something negative about us, we instantly heard "That's not true!" from inside ourselves?  

Seriously, think about it.

This last week I've focused on how awful I feel and how horrible life is sometimes because I'm in my first trimester of pregnancy and don't feel well and am so tired I could sleep at any given moment.  I've been a punk to those around me and I've been mean and rude and awful.   

Why am I being such a tyrant to, not only myself, but EVERYONE?

Because I've forgotten that there is that still small voice inside me.

There's someone there to tell me, "It's okay, I know how you feel.  Gather your courage, get up off the couch and be the woman, mother, spouse, friend, caregiver you need to be.  I'll never leave, I only step aside when you brush me off.  Let's do this and you'll be fine."

I bear witness to you that when that time comes and you need a friend, the best place to find one is on your knees.  He knows what you need more than anyone in the world and only He can help you find it.

Yes, life's hard.  Don't be the tyrant in someone's head that they have to fight against every day.

Tomorrow, I'm choosing to try harder.  I'm choosing to be better for everyone around me.

I am:

A wife, a mom, a healer, a cook, a dishwasher, a laundry-do-er, a friend, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and whatever else you'd like to put me as, HOWEVER, I have decided I don't need to define anything anymore.  I can be all these and more without ever having to justify myself to anyone again.  I read the following article tonight and realized how completely clueless some people are that don't have children..... especially if they're friends with people that DO have kids.  Take a gander HERE and read this article.... TOO FUNNY!

I think my favorite line is the one that states: "...when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself."

 This brings me to following thought:  Do we place ourselves higher than someone because it makes us feel better, or do we do it out of complete ignorance?  I sincerely hope it's out of ignorance that this kind of thing happens, but too often I find it's because of the other "reason". 

While reading through the comments on this article, I ran across someone who thought that all the parents adding things to the list of "what happens during the day" were complaining.  Then I remembered the old saying, "Think before you speak" or in this case type.  Some people have no filter and therefore fall into the following quote's range:

"Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance."

~Robert Quillen

How can you feel good about yourself by telling the people who are raising the next generation that they're doing an awful job.  Someday my friend, those next generation children (raised by the parents you bad-mouthed) could be your boss.  Think twice, will ya?

Open mouth, insert foot.

 

No, I'm not saying that everything I do is correct, and for that matter, it's not super interesting either, however, I've chosen to think before I act, speak, or react because what is important is something you have to think about before you say or do anything.

Example: Take for instance the 2-year-old that falls off the couch.  Looks to his mom for comfort and she says, "Whoa! That was a big fall, hop up!"  Said 2YR gets up, shakes it off and is up for another round.

On the other hand: The 2YR that falls off the couch and his mom says, "Oh!  Poor baby, come here, that must have hurt, are you okay?"  And the kid starts crying because Mom made a big deal out of it.

Or how about the newly wed wife who puts the dishes in the dishwasher every day the EXACT SAME WAY and her hubby, trying to help, loads them differently and runs it.  Yes, it takes 30 extra seconds to put it away, and no, it's not as "convenient" when the bowls are mixed in with the plates and cups.  But did he do it for the right reason?  Yes. Should she say thank you for him doing it without being asked? Of course!  Way to go Newly Wed Hubby!

I submit one last thought for the night: Actions speak louder than words.  What you're doing with your life says more about who you are than anything you can ever say (or even drive).

 

Good night folks!

It's Sunny!

Today is a sunny, glorious Monday!  I've already been to Facebook and checked how things are going for everyone and was surprised to see how many negative comments there are about this morning already!  HOW DARE YOU!  How dare you curse this beautiful day that the Lord has given us to rejoice in!  Things may be going bad in your opinion, but that's only your opinion... I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR NEGATIVITY!  I have this quote for the day:

I just don't deal with the negativity. I can't get involved in that side of it. I don't understand it, and you can't let it take away from your life and what you are trying to do.  ~Rick Pitino

Do I know him?  No.  But I love that he's so blunt about it.  "I can't get involved in that side of it."  And why would we want to???  What good is there that comes from being negative?  One thought like that leads to another and another and then to an awful downward cycle of negativity and depression!  NO THANKS!  Today I choose Optimism and Positivity and Happiness and JOY!  It's sunny here for the first time in WEEKS and I'm so glad to see it!  How dare you guys try to bring me down with your pessimistic ways.  Our purpose here is to uplift each other and bring the happiness that we want to have to others so they'll want it to!

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.    ~Kevyn Aucoin

I did some research on this Kevyn Aucoin.... do I agree with his Lifestyle?  Definitely not!  But he had his head screwed on correctly and knew what to focus on.  He was a make-up artist born in Louisiana and his whole perspective was that women were already beautiful on the inside, make-up just helped them realize it on the outside.

Great thought, huh?

If our outsides truly mirrored our insides what would yours look like?  Would you like what your mirror reflected?  I don't know what mine would reflect for sure, but I'm hoping it would be beautiful.  I'm hoping that the positive attitude I'm working on developing would be shown  and that it would have made my reflection just a smidge less tattered overall.

Are you out there, whoever you are?